IN BLOOM has 12 illustrations by Maria Monroe.
If you are listening to the audiobook, you needn’t miss out – all the illustrations are reproduced on this page.
You can find out more about Maria Monroe and Cordelia Feldman on IN BLOOM’s book page here, or on Maria Monroe’s website SuffolkandWild.com

Follow Me. I’m lying on my bed, watching my two fantail goldfish, Richard and Judy, circle round and round their tank. My favourite album, Sliding Gliding Worlds is playing, as I think about what I’m going to wear out clubbing this evening.

Red Kite. We are having the rare treat of my Dad’s company for a whole day. He spends about twelve hours a day at his office in the City doing whatever stockbrokers do, and he spends a lot of the weekend working too.

UFO. “I’ve got to go” I tell Mrs Jones: stumbling out of the classroom, passing the astonished gazes of Clara and Helena. I don’t know where I’m running to, only that I have to get out, but I pick up speed as I pass along the corridor, past the displays on the walls. I turn down the stairs, descend the four flights and then I’m out of school – away from my prison and into the park.

Light Painting. “Your young man’s here, Tanya.” Mum calls up the stairs to tell me: as if we’ve been waiting for my date to show up to take me to my high school prom in an American teen movie. My first feeling of excitement about this evening bubbles up. It’s going to be a brilliant night – I can just feel it somehow.

The Panther.  He rests his head on my knee and closes his eyes. I stroke the top of his head, it is velvety and smooth. His chin presses down on my knee and I am so privileged that he is choosing to be here with me.

Dark Panther.  “Will you turn that awful noise off?” Mum screams at me from another room. “Can’t hear you.” I yell back.  I can hear her, but her voice is muffled and very far away. I don’t see why I can’t listen to Portishead’s ‘Dummy’ in my room with the door closed; it’s not even loud in here.

Mania.   I can’t sleep.  I’m too excited about, well, everything I suppose. As I’m sitting on the loo I realise that Lily’s bathroom needs tidying so I start to arrange the bottles of bubble bath in colour and height order and pour half-empty ones into each other and throw out the empty ones … Eventually the sun rises and it’s a gorgeous hot sunny day.

Sunset Tree. “Can’t we speed up a bit?” I ask Mum. “We’re going at thirty miles an hour, look”. I look at the speedometer and I can’t tell what it says because it shimmers and the lines spin round and bleed into each other: a tiny Catherine wheel. And then the hospital comes into view, careering towards us: a stately home, Manderley perhaps, or even Pemberley.

Neon Rain.  “Hurry up Tanya, we haven’t got all day” the nurse leading our expedition says as I blow kisses and wolf-whistle at passing motorists. They wave back and shout ‘Hi Gorgeous!’ at me. Pedestrians speed up and pass us with traumatised glances, then look away or down at their feet.

Prowling Panther.  “Can I really go home?” Despite my constant pleading I haven’t dared to hope that I could be allowed home just yet … My mood is the same as it has been the last couple of weeks, since I crashed out of the mania. The panther lies beside me on my bed, under the covers, along the length of my body … his right leg across my chest, pinning me to the bed … “I want to go home” I say, even though I’m not sure that I do.

Goldfinch.  “You were a normal child, good at your schoolwork, well behaved, and then you thought it would be a good idea to take drugs and give yourself a severe mental illness and ruin all our lives!” “I didn’t think this was going to happen” I say.  “And you expect me to look after you,” she says eventually.

Red Kite in Profile.  “For the sin we have committed by misusing sex.” The Rabbi says.  Well I’m not guilty of that one.  I can’t find anyone to misuse sex with: Robbie wouldn’t, Seb wouldn’t, I haven’t had any offers since I left hospital.  I thought boys were meant to be up for it all the time. They’re not.  Well, they’re not with me anyway.